[Well that's terrifying. Ariel presses himself further into the corner, staring at Tristan with obvious fear -- he could actually try to hurt him, but he doesn't really have the guts. He loves his brother. He's just angry at him, and afraid of him, and hurt by him -- and maybe that in itself would be enough to make him lash out, but he's even more afraid of listening to the other voice in his head.]
No-- Don't touch me, go away, I don't want to see you--
[Tristan ignores him, reaching out to put his hand on Ariel's arm, magic coiling around them both in a brief, disorienting surge of power and then they're not in Ariel's room anymore, but Tristan's. It doesn't look very lived in, aside from the knocked over papers and spilled ink, it's cold and impersonally maintained. Tristan may have been sleeping here for the last little while but it's more like a room for guests than a place he lives.]
[Nope. Nononono he's not having any of it. The moment he's reoriented himself he tries to bolt for the door, panic written all over his face. He can't handle it, remembering what he does. He knows Tristan's capable of horrible things himself if he really wants to be, and he knows, more than that, that even though Tristan probably doesn't want to do anything harmful, he still isn't listening to what Ariel wants at all, and that none of that matters here because Tristan is God Emperor and he has the right to do anything he pleases, even to his own brother.]
[The magic that pushes Ariel back into the chair is so effortless and unthought of it's probably not helping the terror at all. Tris isn't even looking at him, walking to the door and calling for servants, directing them to clean Ariel's room, fetch a spare night robe, draw a hot bath in the adjoining bathroom, all of it while casually holding his brother prisoner on the couch. And then he closes the door.]
You really need to calm down.
[As if he's being perfectly reasonable and Ariel is overreacting.]
[It's breathless, he's so terrified he can hardly think straight. But he struggles anyway, even though he knows he won't be able to escape, just because he's that desperate to be anywhere but near Tristan right now.]
Let me go! I don't care if you lock me up somewhere, that's fine! I know I'm crazy, I'm bad, I understand, but I don't want to see you!
If I'm not any of those things then why can't I be left alone?! Even if I am, what can I do locked away? I'll be fine! Let Jupiter watch me! I just don't want anything to do with you!
Did you not hear me before? I'm done being your perfect plaything. Nothing you do will change my mind. You can force me to stay here but I won't stop trying to get away from you.
Ariel, you are not going anywhere. You are not a plaything, but you are not leaving my sight for tonight. I think that's a perfectly reasonable thing considering the situation. We don't have to talk, you can hate me all you want, whatever it is you want to do, except leave right now.
[He's not getting out of this and he knows it. But he doesn't want to agree to it either, so he just goes quiet, refusing to even look at Tristan. He'll wait til he's asleep. That's fine, right? He can slip out after that and go find Jupiter and-- and cry for hours if he wants to, but for now he's stuck. So he'll just... be quietly distant, then. Tristan said he could hate him all he wanted.]
It is. If you cared for me more than your own desires you wouldn't be forcing me to spend the night with someone that makes me feel disgusting. You have other options and you deny them, for your comfort and at my expense, like everything you've done with me in this lifetime.
[He doesn't mean it -- or he does, at least a little, but he would normally never be so cruel. Tonight though he's just barely seventeen and traumatized and has a monster newly living inside him, whispering in his ear, and he doesn't care to be kind when he's hurting. He just gets up and stalks past Tristan, obedient but stiff with anger and fear and still not looking directly at him.]
[It shakes Tris more than he'd care to admit, hearing Ariel be vicious. He never really dealt with his trauma of a lifetime ago, building a new world and throwing himself into the facade of a tyrant--becoming that tyrant, playing out a family with Ariel and Jupiter... It's given him a sense of power and control but he finds that sense on shaky grounds when confronted with the tone that made him believe he was powerless for decades.]
[Had Ariel not killed Jupiter back then, he might have spent his whole life letting Ariel's words dictate who he was, and now, confronted with that tone, he feels as pathetic as Ariel is accusing him of being. It's difficult to shake off, and only a little over a decade of playing mad god with the world's politics gives him the ability to bluff over how scared and disturbed this has him.]
I'll never force you to share my bed, unlike you did once.
[He bites his tongue immediately. He can't do that. He can't let his perception of them bleed into each other. This is his brother in this life, not the other one.]
I didn't mean that, that wasn't you. You can have the bed and I'll take the couch, and as disgusting as I make you feel, you'll have to deal with my presence. Someone nearly killed you tonight, I don't intend to let anyone finish that task.
[He concentrates briefly, sealing the room magically and turning to leave, to give Ariel a measure of privacy.]
[He lets Tristan leave without a response, staying silent til he's out of the room and only then hesitantly undressing to get in the bath. He really does feel gross. He spends as little time naked in the open air as possible, slipping all the way down in the water immediately and then simply staring into space, shaking.
Tristan said he didn't mean it, but it was true. He may not want to admit it, and Ariel may not want it, but "that person" is here, entirely, inside of him, his thoughts running smoothly alongside the normal ones, so strong it's hard to keep ahold of what's "him" and what's "the person he was". And here he is being mean to Tristan -- even if Tristan was wrong, even if Ariel really is angry and scared, it's unlike him to snap like that. Isn't that just a sign he's dissolving? And doesn't that just go to show that he doesn't really have a right to complain? What Tristan's done is nothing on what "that" Ariel did. It's not even the beginning of a punishment. He deserves so, so much worse than a brother that cares for him too much.
He can't help thinking that he wishes that assassin hadn't failed. Half-failed, really. He's alive now, but the person he was up until an hour ago has effectively been murdered, and his life is never going to be the secure and mostly-pleasant place it was before that. Any dream of happiness, of doing the things he likes and running off with Jupiter, of laughing and not worrying about anything more than a fussy big brother is suddenly yanked from just at his fingertips -- he has no illusions that he'll be able to live remotely normally with this other person taking him over. All in all it's a horrible, massive blow, and he's just going to sit the bath and cry like he hasn't cried in any lifetime.]
[ After a brief discussion with Tristan, which Ariel may have heard muffled through the walls... Jupiter enters quietly, overstepping a boundary he would usually respect by coming in while Ariel is naked and in a bath. And he's not even raising a fuss, just kneeling down next to the bath and gazing at Ariel with some concern. ]
[He notices immediately when someone comes in, looking up startled, blotchy-faced and clearly frightened. He was expecting Tristan -- Jupiter is a pleasant surprise to say the least.]
...Jupiter...
[He doesn't deserve to see him. He doesn't deserve to be around someone whose life he's already destroyed once. But he wants to. There's no one else that could possibly make things seem any less terrible, so-- so... No. It's not safe. His chest is tight with emotion and it's bizarre to hear the "other" thoughts line up with own. Jupiter is so beautiful. Jupiter is so good. He wants him. He loves him. More than anyone else, this person--
And yet that other voice also wants to drag Jupiter over and drown him on the spot. It's too much, so he just starts crying again, curling into a ball in the water and tangling his fingers in his hair.]
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[He dispels the barrier with distressing ease, as if Ariel's magic were indeed as simple as a child's.]
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No-- Don't touch me, go away, I don't want to see you--
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I'll call to have a bath drawn.
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[Nope. Nononono he's not having any of it. The moment he's reoriented himself he tries to bolt for the door, panic written all over his face. He can't handle it, remembering what he does. He knows Tristan's capable of horrible things himself if he really wants to be, and he knows, more than that, that even though Tristan probably doesn't want to do anything harmful, he still isn't listening to what Ariel wants at all, and that none of that matters here because Tristan is God Emperor and he has the right to do anything he pleases, even to his own brother.]
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You really need to calm down.
[As if he's being perfectly reasonable and Ariel is overreacting.]
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[It's breathless, he's so terrified he can hardly think straight. But he struggles anyway, even though he knows he won't be able to escape, just because he's that desperate to be anywhere but near Tristan right now.]
Let me go! I don't care if you lock me up somewhere, that's fine! I know I'm crazy, I'm bad, I understand, but I don't want to see you!
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You'll stay on the other side of the door. If you look at me undressed I'll be nauseous.
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Fine, but I'm sealing the room. You won't be sneaking away.
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Do what you want. That's all you care for anyway.
[Funny how much easier it is to hide his real feelings now. It kind of gives him an uncomfortable rush.]
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[He releases the hold binding Ariel to the couch.]
Come on then, I'll see you into the room and you can leave it back here when you're done.
[He needs to seal the room magically but he's not leaving Ariel in here alone to do it.]
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[He doesn't mean it -- or he does, at least a little, but he would normally never be so cruel. Tonight though he's just barely seventeen and traumatized and has a monster newly living inside him, whispering in his ear, and he doesn't care to be kind when he's hurting. He just gets up and stalks past Tristan, obedient but stiff with anger and fear and still not looking directly at him.]
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[Had Ariel not killed Jupiter back then, he might have spent his whole life letting Ariel's words dictate who he was, and now, confronted with that tone, he feels as pathetic as Ariel is accusing him of being. It's difficult to shake off, and only a little over a decade of playing mad god with the world's politics gives him the ability to bluff over how scared and disturbed this has him.]
I'll never force you to share my bed, unlike you did once.
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I didn't mean that, that wasn't you. You can have the bed and I'll take the couch, and as disgusting as I make you feel, you'll have to deal with my presence. Someone nearly killed you tonight, I don't intend to let anyone finish that task.
[He concentrates briefly, sealing the room magically and turning to leave, to give Ariel a measure of privacy.]
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Tristan said he didn't mean it, but it was true. He may not want to admit it, and Ariel may not want it, but "that person" is here, entirely, inside of him, his thoughts running smoothly alongside the normal ones, so strong it's hard to keep ahold of what's "him" and what's "the person he was". And here he is being mean to Tristan -- even if Tristan was wrong, even if Ariel really is angry and scared, it's unlike him to snap like that. Isn't that just a sign he's dissolving? And doesn't that just go to show that he doesn't really have a right to complain? What Tristan's done is nothing on what "that" Ariel did. It's not even the beginning of a punishment. He deserves so, so much worse than a brother that cares for him too much.
He can't help thinking that he wishes that assassin hadn't failed. Half-failed, really. He's alive now, but the person he was up until an hour ago has effectively been murdered, and his life is never going to be the secure and mostly-pleasant place it was before that. Any dream of happiness, of doing the things he likes and running off with Jupiter, of laughing and not worrying about anything more than a fussy big brother is suddenly yanked from just at his fingertips -- he has no illusions that he'll be able to live remotely normally with this other person taking him over. All in all it's a horrible, massive blow, and he's just going to sit the bath and cry like he hasn't cried in any lifetime.]
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...Jupiter...
[He doesn't deserve to see him. He doesn't deserve to be around someone whose life he's already destroyed once. But he wants to. There's no one else that could possibly make things seem any less terrible, so-- so... No. It's not safe. His chest is tight with emotion and it's bizarre to hear the "other" thoughts line up with own. Jupiter is so beautiful. Jupiter is so good. He wants him. He loves him. More than anyone else, this person--
And yet that other voice also wants to drag Jupiter over and drown him on the spot. It's too much, so he just starts crying again, curling into a ball in the water and tangling his fingers in his hair.]
I shouldn't see you...
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