[Two years ago he would have put Tris on the floor for that kind of attitude. Now there's just the angry, but still wild-eyed stare, watching him go past. He's furious but he's learned already that he can't just lash out without his magic to back him up. This is especially true now with two years of lost bulk and his vision swimming with stars on the edges. But he wants to. He wants to kick Tristan down and crush his ribs, see blood come out his mouth, listen to him beg his apologies as Ariel splinters his precious fingers. Instead he just watches him with nervous intent, careful of where his hands are going, of the table, and he tries not to think that he's been placed on the defensive. Since Tristan betrayed him, since Jupiter outwitted him, his life's been switched around and now he's the one breathless, trying to think ahead of what painful or disorienting thing might happen next.
He hates it. He loathes everyone who had a hand in dragging him down from where he ought to be and making him live like this. Tristan regained his power so it's not impossible -- he will, eventually, put them all to light like a big gristly torch. But for now, the relevant problem:]
[That's the important part. Being imprisoned wherever he is is no surprise. Perhaps Tristan asking to be his custodian shouldn't be either, but it's still completely infuriating. It's a bit baffling, too -- Ariel can't, really, grasp what it is that's made Tris keep visiting him all this time. If he was willing to betray him, why would he want anything to do with him, if it isn't just to gloat? Is this, too, a grander form of rubbing his nose in it? Or does Tristan have the gall to really, truly turn the tables on him? The thought makes Ariel's pulse race dangerously, and he pales, too drugged up and honestly too roughed up to hide it anymore.]
[Seeing Ariel's truly scared reaction just makes him sad. Ariel doesn't really know him at all, but why would Ariel? He never cared in the first place, Tristan was only an object to him, and now he probably expects the same. Tristan feels tired.]
Because no one else would take care of you. You should lay down, rest off the last of the sedatives and I'll bring you some tea. I won't be serving you in general so you'll have to learn to cook on your own, but today you probably shouldn't move about much.
[He can take care of himself. It's a joke. It's just mocking him, making fun of the state he's in. His chest burns with anger, and he longs for the familiar spark of power in his hands, to be able to snuff Tristan's insufferable voice right there.
But he can't. He can't even walk straight. Pushing himself off the wall results in a wobble, and stumbling til he finds the edge of the bed. His face flushes, humiliated to be that weak in front of Tristan, but there's nothing he can do about it. There's nothing he can do about any of this... just yet. He'll have his way eventually, but right at the moment he just feels hollow and ill.]
But if you're "taking care of me", you should serve me.
Not going to happen. I'm not home much during the week, but there's books if you want them.
[He watches Ariel settle, feeling so sad and exhausted but quietly determined to deal with this. Ariel won't rule his life anymore. But he'll still take care of his brother.]
[He asks incredulously, as if the very idea of Tristan having some identity outside of the one Ariel assigned him, having anywhere to be, is ludicrous.]
[He starts to protest his question being ignored, but gives up halfway, as Tristan leaves. He's so angry, frustrated -- the world isn't as it should be, anymore. Nothing is right. He feels restrained and impotent and it makes him want to blow up, but there's not much outlet for it, so he just shoves the end table back over (and anything else he can reach without leaving the bed), then throws himself in bed and pulls the covers over his head. He doesn't care if it's childish. He's never cared about that, in private, and there's no one left to pretend for at this point.]
[When he returns with tea and a sandwich he looks at the mess and sets the tray of food and drink down. But he doesn't go to pick up the things Ariel's knocked over in his tantrum.]
Anything you break will stay broken, and anything you leave a mess will stay a mess. If you cause trouble in the rest of the house you will lose access to anything but this room. You have a private bathroom through that door and clothes in your closet, if you have requests for anything to be bought to make your time here less tedious or for you to eat I'll take them into consideration. Demands I will not consider at all.
[He feels nervous, but at the same time he doesn't look as shaky as he feels, he sounds firm, he looks impassive. He can do this. He has the support to carry this out.]
[He's tempted to shout, to tell Tristan exactly what he thinks of that kind of treatment and exactly what he intends to do about it. He's so angry his chest feels like it could burst, so humiliated his face is hot and his eyes hurt from the effort not to cry. He won't -- Tristan doesn't deserve to see that weakness, even if it's only frustration. Perhaps there's a certain weakness in being cowed enough not to lash out, too, but it would be worse to try and fail. Two years ago, he would have tried anyway, just out of pride. But enough confinement, enough failures and that spell of truly nasty treatment and he's learned enough not to bother.
Self-preservation dictates that staying right where he is and ignoring Tristan's presence entirely is likely the least damaging thing to do in the long run, so that's what he does... it's just wrong that Ariel should ever have had to learn that kind of maneuvering in the first place. He shouldn't have to think of anything but doing what he wants, and he can pride himself on being smart, but there's a difference between proactive scheming and defensive caution are two different things and it stings every time he feels himself slip into the latter.]
[He watches Ariel a moment and decides not to do or say anything. His brother is having a fit and he doesn't want to reassure him or coddle him. Ariel can deal. He's in a better situation than he ever would have been if Tristan didn't care about him, but Tristan doesn't want to give Ariel the idea he can be manipulated. So he just leaves the food and turns, closing the door behind him. He'll return to his hot cocoa and stare blankly at the piece he's been trying to compose all week.]
[He wouldn't have wanted to be reassured anyway. That would be embarrassing too, and belittling -- insulting, for Tristan to really act like a big brother.
Ariel stays in bed sulking, until the sedatives win and he falls asleep again, leaving the tea and sandwich untouched for hours more. Still, when he wakes again they're yet better than prison food and he eats, quietly, glaring at the mess he made, as if being angry enough at it will make it take care of itself, or make Tristan appear to clean up after him and act like the pathetic person Ariel remembers.
Alas, he doesn't have the power to enforce his will anymore, and things remain a mess a full couple of weeks, until he sets everything right in another fit of anger, just to have something to do with his hands. He spends those weeks avoiding Tristan as much as possible, stewing and plotting, looking stressed and exhausted all the time, no matter how uneventful and kind this imprisonment is. If he killed Tristan now, how far could he get? What would the chances of running be? If it's Tristan's enchantment on the house, it'll die with him, right? Then it's just a matter of escaping as far as he can before he can be caught. Maybe, maybe there's somewhere he can start up again. How widely has his image been circulated anyway? Surely there's a place he can go where he won't be recognised, until he can get his power back and fix it all.
The odd thing, though, is... Tristan has no idea the level of power he's "gotten back". The wish he made, for Ariel to "be normal" -- Ariel doesn't know Tristan's power either. He doesn't know about that wish, or what it would entail. He doesn't understand feelings. But the more he dwells on the feeling of betrayal, the more keenly it hurts, and the more he thinks about killing Tristan, the more he's afraid of it. He always has been. There's always been a part of him that wanted Tristan to stay, in whatever twisted manner, for whatever twisted reason.
He doesn't understand, and it'll take awhile for that "wish" to grow, but there's an inlking of a shift in Ariel's brain that he doesn't quite grasp yet. But it's one he's ignoring, and after those few weeks he picks a night to attempt a run, and creeps out of his room, late, snags a knife from the kitchen and heads for Tristan's. He hasn't had quite the feeling of nervous pause before doing something awful as he does when he pushes on the door, not since he was very young at least, but he attributes it to the high level of risk. He never wanted Tristan to die, but he's desperate to stop feeling so helpless, so it's worth it. He's not upset by it, surely. It'll be easy, just to creep up beside him in his sleep, climb over him and drive the knife into him. Easy. He's killed too many times to record and he's crept up on Tristan exponentially more.]
[Tristan hasn't tried to intrude on Ariel's space. Wanting his brother to be normal is one thing, but he knows well that it isn't possible (has no idea he could, or has, done anything to change that) so he simply hasn't attempted to engage Ariel. He keeps the kitchen stocked with food Ariel can fix or eat, and spends his days like he normally would. Composing, playing music, doing it at the local opera house or at home. He's often up late in his room or down with the piano, humming to himself as he taps out keys and marks notations on his music sheets.]
[And he doesn't reach out to Ariel, not obviously, he doesn't want any overture to be mistaken as a weakness. But he does bring home a small cake every Friday which he leaves on the counter, he picks up interesting magazines sometimes, or popular novels, leaving them out where they can be easily noticed. Of course he reads the novels too, he cuts the small cakes in half and has his part, but the small gestures are there.]
[And he probably shouldn't sleep easily with a dangerous serial killer in his house but he's very used to sleeping near that serial killer, like any other night he's sound asleep after being up late when Ariel creeps into his room.]
[Asleep, Tristan looks just like he always did. Ariel pauses a few feet away, watching him for a few seconds, paralyzed by a feeling he doesn't recognize and rationalizes as the "fear" he hates so much in himself -- he's afraid to be alone. He's afraid not t be recognized. But Tristan's not recognizing him properly anymore, is he? Two years ago, if Ariel had wanted him dead, he wouldn't even have had to cross the room, and Tristan wouldn't have questioned it --
That's the thought that heats his anger again, and he proceeds, crawling on top of him carefully and quietly, taking a deep breath and plunging the knife down in one sharp, accurate movement. He doesn't want to (he doesn't understand why the reluctance is so strong at all), but he has to get out. He has to, and he wants to hurt Tristan so much, especially now, because it's all Tristan's fault this even happened.]
[He probably should have locked his door in retrospect. He wakes with a noise of surprise as the knife pierces him and for a moment his world swims, he feels sure he's going to die, he doesn't want to die in that moment. Scared and disoriented. But then the feeling passes and it's just very painful. Ariel will find that, no matter how much he's sure he stabbed Tristan fatally, the knife is just missing any vital organs.]
[And Tristan is reaching up shakily to grab his wrist, breathing shallow and harsh, pained.]
[It should have been enough. Even with healing, Tristan shouldn't be able to withstand the way Ariel stabbed him. He doesn't understand, but he knows that if Tristan's thinking straight, Ariel's going to lose. So he claps his free hand over his mouth, trying to wrench the knife out and stab him again, regardless of Tristan's hold on him.
But he's not smiling, like every other time he's hurt Tristan. He looks frightened, and he looks upset, in a deeper way than Tristan's ever seen from him -- but Ariel doesn't understand these things, so he's just rejecting it. Fear he knows. Reluctance he knows. But he doesn't know what would make his stomach twist like this, why he feels so worked up other than desperation to run, so he rationalizes it away, completely unaware of what shows on his face, because as always with strong emotions Ariel deals with them childishly, by feeling them sharply and throwing them everywhere.]
[He struggles as the knife is pulled out, grabbing Ariel's wrist for real, confused by the emotions on Ariel's face but sure he can't actually dwell on that right now. He freezes Ariel's arm up, immobilizes him and reaches to try to pry his brother's hand off his face, bleeding but still very alive despite what definitely should have been excessively fatal stabbing.]
[As soon as he feels his body freeze, panic sets in. No. No no no nonono he doesn't want to lose, he doesn't want to be trapped anymore, but while he hasn't acknowledged his fear of that other place it's very real, and worse, and if he's failed to escape that's where's he'll end up again isn't it? He can't stop Tristan from taking over. He's not the one with power anymore. So obviously his sudden burst of hyperventilating has everything to do with what he hasn't done successfully, and the breakdown of sanity over the two years away from Tristan, and nothing to do with what he did do, or any reality check related to it. He doesn't care about hurting Tristan, that's just normal. So it follows he doesn't care about losing him and isn't upset about trying to kill him, he's only afraid of the potential consequences of not following through.
[He is still really confused about why Ariel looks close to tears and not frustrated anger. It seems off. But he needs to heal his chest wound. So he concentrates on that, still holding Ariel's wrist even though he doesn't need to with magic holding him still.]
....They'll send you back if I die Ariel. Do you want that?
[He's scared, but he's mad at that, too -- why is it so easy for Tristan to turn on him? Oh, the reasons are obvious enough, Ariel knows his behavior isn't "normal", but as far as he sees that's how they were supposed to be. That's just how things were. And he wanted Tristan to stay, so how could Tristan send him away? And yet it was a matter of control and possession, not stupid things he doesn't understand or care about like "love", so why does it hurt so much, instead of just making him angry?]
Why did you bring me here in the first place if you're so glad to see the back of me? I can't believe you'd really think I'd learn to roll over and stay as easy as you.
[He sets the bloody knife down and rubs his healed shoulder. He should, like he said, send Ariel back. He knows his brother is dangerous, he might very well have died tonight if he hadn't been lucky (he believes it was luck, or bad aim in the dark). But instead he's thinking, well, he could lock his room from now on. Put a bell on it so Ariel couldn't break in without waking him.]
[...And if Ariel tries something more subtle? He doesn't keep easy poisons in the house but Ariel's resourceful. Should he let Ariel stay knowing he could be checking over his shoulder for the rest of his life? But he knew that when he offered to take Ariel didn't he?]
[He gently pats Ariel's head, tired and sad and wishing things were different.]
I don't know. I don't want to send you back, but I don't want to give you the opportunity to kill me. This was too close--you may hate me but I don't hate you. I don't want to send you back there after everything that happened to you, but I can't trust you. You've left me in a bit of dilemma, Ariel.
[Tristan's patted Ariel on the head several times -- mostly, a very, very long time ago. Then, even when he was small and hadn't realised the truth of what he was, entirely, he found that kind of affection meaningless and a little annoying. As an adult, it's just demeaning. And yet for some reason it hits him right in the emotional place he's trying to deny, the part that's new and completely baffling, and when Tristan lets him move he doesn't get up, he just doubles over, shoving him in the chest for some kind of action as he really does start to cry.
He doesn't understand. He doesn't know what he's feeling so he can't even think to complain about the change, all he can do is childishly feel it, and right now it just hurts, in a foreign and frightening way that makes him angry, but also makes him want to collapse in a way he's not used to at all.]
Don't lie to me. You turned on me already, you can go ahead and do it again. It's more than I gave you credit for, you know. Even I didn't--
[No, no, this is humiliating. He doesn't want to break down in front of Tristan and he doesn't get why he is at all, it doesn't make sense, but here it is anyway. He's never been able to control strong emotions. In that, even now, he hasn't progressed an inch from the moment their world fell apart, back then.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He hates it. He loathes everyone who had a hand in dragging him down from where he ought to be and making him live like this. Tristan regained his power so it's not impossible -- he will, eventually, put them all to light like a big gristly torch. But for now, the relevant problem:]
What are you doing? Where are we?
no subject
We're in my home. You were given to my custody after... Everything. I asked to have you.
Don't try to leave, the house is enchanted, and if you do get out and you're caught they'll send you back there.
no subject
[That's the important part. Being imprisoned wherever he is is no surprise. Perhaps Tristan asking to be his custodian shouldn't be either, but it's still completely infuriating. It's a bit baffling, too -- Ariel can't, really, grasp what it is that's made Tris keep visiting him all this time. If he was willing to betray him, why would he want anything to do with him, if it isn't just to gloat? Is this, too, a grander form of rubbing his nose in it? Or does Tristan have the gall to really, truly turn the tables on him? The thought makes Ariel's pulse race dangerously, and he pales, too drugged up and honestly too roughed up to hide it anymore.]
no subject
Because no one else would take care of you. You should lay down, rest off the last of the sedatives and I'll bring you some tea. I won't be serving you in general so you'll have to learn to cook on your own, but today you probably shouldn't move about much.
no subject
[He can take care of himself. It's a joke. It's just mocking him, making fun of the state he's in. His chest burns with anger, and he longs for the familiar spark of power in his hands, to be able to snuff Tristan's insufferable voice right there.
But he can't. He can't even walk straight. Pushing himself off the wall results in a wobble, and stumbling til he finds the edge of the bed. His face flushes, humiliated to be that weak in front of Tristan, but there's nothing he can do about it. There's nothing he can do about any of this... just yet. He'll have his way eventually, but right at the moment he just feels hollow and ill.]
But if you're "taking care of me", you should serve me.
no subject
[He watches Ariel settle, feeling so sad and exhausted but quietly determined to deal with this. Ariel won't rule his life anymore. But he'll still take care of his brother.]
I'll let you rest.
no subject
[He asks incredulously, as if the very idea of Tristan having some identity outside of the one Ariel assigned him, having anywhere to be, is ludicrous.]
no subject
I'll get tea and a sandwich and then you should sleep off the rest of the drugs.
[And he's going to go to just do that, without answering Ariel.]
no subject
[He starts to protest his question being ignored, but gives up halfway, as Tristan leaves. He's so angry, frustrated -- the world isn't as it should be, anymore. Nothing is right. He feels restrained and impotent and it makes him want to blow up, but there's not much outlet for it, so he just shoves the end table back over (and anything else he can reach without leaving the bed), then throws himself in bed and pulls the covers over his head. He doesn't care if it's childish. He's never cared about that, in private, and there's no one left to pretend for at this point.]
no subject
Anything you break will stay broken, and anything you leave a mess will stay a mess. If you cause trouble in the rest of the house you will lose access to anything but this room. You have a private bathroom through that door and clothes in your closet, if you have requests for anything to be bought to make your time here less tedious or for you to eat I'll take them into consideration. Demands I will not consider at all.
[He feels nervous, but at the same time he doesn't look as shaky as he feels, he sounds firm, he looks impassive. He can do this. He has the support to carry this out.]
no subject
Self-preservation dictates that staying right where he is and ignoring Tristan's presence entirely is likely the least damaging thing to do in the long run, so that's what he does... it's just wrong that Ariel should ever have had to learn that kind of maneuvering in the first place. He shouldn't have to think of anything but doing what he wants, and he can pride himself on being smart, but there's a difference between proactive scheming and defensive caution are two different things and it stings every time he feels himself slip into the latter.]
no subject
no subject
Ariel stays in bed sulking, until the sedatives win and he falls asleep again, leaving the tea and sandwich untouched for hours more. Still, when he wakes again they're yet better than prison food and he eats, quietly, glaring at the mess he made, as if being angry enough at it will make it take care of itself, or make Tristan appear to clean up after him and act like the pathetic person Ariel remembers.
Alas, he doesn't have the power to enforce his will anymore, and things remain a mess a full couple of weeks, until he sets everything right in another fit of anger, just to have something to do with his hands. He spends those weeks avoiding Tristan as much as possible, stewing and plotting, looking stressed and exhausted all the time, no matter how uneventful and kind this imprisonment is. If he killed Tristan now, how far could he get? What would the chances of running be? If it's Tristan's enchantment on the house, it'll die with him, right? Then it's just a matter of escaping as far as he can before he can be caught. Maybe, maybe there's somewhere he can start up again. How widely has his image been circulated anyway? Surely there's a place he can go where he won't be recognised, until he can get his power back and fix it all.
The odd thing, though, is... Tristan has no idea the level of power he's "gotten back". The wish he made, for Ariel to "be normal" -- Ariel doesn't know Tristan's power either. He doesn't know about that wish, or what it would entail. He doesn't understand feelings. But the more he dwells on the feeling of betrayal, the more keenly it hurts, and the more he thinks about killing Tristan, the more he's afraid of it. He always has been. There's always been a part of him that wanted Tristan to stay, in whatever twisted manner, for whatever twisted reason.
He doesn't understand, and it'll take awhile for that "wish" to grow, but there's an inlking of a shift in Ariel's brain that he doesn't quite grasp yet. But it's one he's ignoring, and after those few weeks he picks a night to attempt a run, and creeps out of his room, late, snags a knife from the kitchen and heads for Tristan's. He hasn't had quite the feeling of nervous pause before doing something awful as he does when he pushes on the door, not since he was very young at least, but he attributes it to the high level of risk. He never wanted Tristan to die, but he's desperate to stop feeling so helpless, so it's worth it. He's not upset by it, surely. It'll be easy, just to creep up beside him in his sleep, climb over him and drive the knife into him. Easy. He's killed too many times to record and he's crept up on Tristan exponentially more.]
no subject
[And he doesn't reach out to Ariel, not obviously, he doesn't want any overture to be mistaken as a weakness. But he does bring home a small cake every Friday which he leaves on the counter, he picks up interesting magazines sometimes, or popular novels, leaving them out where they can be easily noticed. Of course he reads the novels too, he cuts the small cakes in half and has his part, but the small gestures are there.]
[And he probably shouldn't sleep easily with a dangerous serial killer in his house but he's very used to sleeping near that serial killer, like any other night he's sound asleep after being up late when Ariel creeps into his room.]
no subject
That's the thought that heats his anger again, and he proceeds, crawling on top of him carefully and quietly, taking a deep breath and plunging the knife down in one sharp, accurate movement. He doesn't want to (he doesn't understand why the reluctance is so strong at all), but he has to get out. He has to, and he wants to hurt Tristan so much, especially now, because it's all Tristan's fault this even happened.]
no subject
[And Tristan is reaching up shakily to grab his wrist, breathing shallow and harsh, pained.]
no subject
But he's not smiling, like every other time he's hurt Tristan. He looks frightened, and he looks upset, in a deeper way than Tristan's ever seen from him -- but Ariel doesn't understand these things, so he's just rejecting it. Fear he knows. Reluctance he knows. But he doesn't know what would make his stomach twist like this, why he feels so worked up other than desperation to run, so he rationalizes it away, completely unaware of what shows on his face, because as always with strong emotions Ariel deals with them childishly, by feeling them sharply and throwing them everywhere.]
no subject
Ariel.
no subject
[As soon as he feels his body freeze, panic sets in. No. No no no nonono he doesn't want to lose, he doesn't want to be trapped anymore, but while he hasn't acknowledged his fear of that other place it's very real, and worse, and if he's failed to escape that's where's he'll end up again isn't it? He can't stop Tristan from taking over. He's not the one with power anymore. So obviously his sudden burst of hyperventilating has everything to do with what he hasn't done successfully, and the breakdown of sanity over the two years away from Tristan, and nothing to do with what he did do, or any reality check related to it. He doesn't care about hurting Tristan, that's just normal. So it follows he doesn't care about losing him and isn't upset about trying to kill him, he's only afraid of the potential consequences of not following through.
So there's no reason he should be about to cry.]
Let go of me and die already.
no subject
....They'll send you back if I die Ariel. Do you want that?
no subject
no subject
You'd be caught. I should send you back now myself.
no subject
[He's scared, but he's mad at that, too -- why is it so easy for Tristan to turn on him? Oh, the reasons are obvious enough, Ariel knows his behavior isn't "normal", but as far as he sees that's how they were supposed to be. That's just how things were. And he wanted Tristan to stay, so how could Tristan send him away? And yet it was a matter of control and possession, not stupid things he doesn't understand or care about like "love", so why does it hurt so much, instead of just making him angry?]
Why did you bring me here in the first place if you're so glad to see the back of me? I can't believe you'd really think I'd learn to roll over and stay as easy as you.
no subject
[...And if Ariel tries something more subtle? He doesn't keep easy poisons in the house but Ariel's resourceful. Should he let Ariel stay knowing he could be checking over his shoulder for the rest of his life? But he knew that when he offered to take Ariel didn't he?]
[He gently pats Ariel's head, tired and sad and wishing things were different.]
I don't know. I don't want to send you back, but I don't want to give you the opportunity to kill me. This was too close--you may hate me but I don't hate you. I don't want to send you back there after everything that happened to you, but I can't trust you. You've left me in a bit of dilemma, Ariel.
[He releases the immobilizing magic at least.]
no subject
He doesn't understand. He doesn't know what he's feeling so he can't even think to complain about the change, all he can do is childishly feel it, and right now it just hurts, in a foreign and frightening way that makes him angry, but also makes him want to collapse in a way he's not used to at all.]
Don't lie to me. You turned on me already, you can go ahead and do it again. It's more than I gave you credit for, you know. Even I didn't--
[No, no, this is humiliating. He doesn't want to break down in front of Tristan and he doesn't get why he is at all, it doesn't make sense, but here it is anyway. He's never been able to control strong emotions. In that, even now, he hasn't progressed an inch from the moment their world fell apart, back then.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)