AU/PSL THINGS

[upmoving]

[cw for Ariel shit?? incest, violence, all of that]

Comments

[upmoving]

No. This version of me is a weak little thing designed just for your fetishes. It's you who've become more like me. But I don't think "I" will ever be what you want again, in this lifetime. How sad for you. I wouldn't turn your back on me, Tristan. Like you told me in the end, I'm--

[There's another missed breath, and he's crying again, sliding down to the floor and curling into a ball, whimpering to himself under his breath.]

--a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a fake, everything is a lie--

[downvoted]

[The barrier keeps him from reaching out (he could destroy it if he wanted, but that would just freak Ariel out more) and they're both here in this room filled with gore and it's just. No good. Tris is freaked out and Ariel is losing his mind and neither of them are sane. He crouches down outside the barrier, places his fingertips on it, quiet a moment.]

You're not. You're not a monster and you're not a fake. This world exists because of you. There was another world, one where you weren't right, where you were a monster, but that isn't you. That isn't this world. And this is reality. Not anything else. This right now is real. And you're my precious little brother, you aren't a monster.

I know what monsters are.

[upmoving]

It's not because of me. It's for you. No matter what you say I know that.

[He's not letting go of it. Everything Tristan says seems flat and false in the face of knowing that his whole life has been tailored, that he's been kept naive and unaware for Tristan's benefit. He doesn't care if it was an attempt to prevent this very thing from happening or anything else. There are parts of it that couldn't have had anything to do with safety, only with keeping him near Tristan and keeping him from disallowing anything Tristan wanted from him. It was wrong. He was used, no matter how Tristan spins it, and it feels like a knife in the gut.]

I could be sick.

[downvoted]

Ariel. If you don't come with me out of this filth I will make you move. We can talk after we clean up.

[upmoving]

If you touch me I will set you on fire.

[downvoted]

Don't be a child Ariel.

[He dispels the barrier with distressing ease, as if Ariel's magic were indeed as simple as a child's.]

[upmoving]

[Well that's terrifying. Ariel presses himself further into the corner, staring at Tristan with obvious fear -- he could actually try to hurt him, but he doesn't really have the guts. He loves his brother. He's just angry at him, and afraid of him, and hurt by him -- and maybe that in itself would be enough to make him lash out, but he's even more afraid of listening to the other voice in his head.]

No-- Don't touch me, go away, I don't want to see you--

[downvoted]

[Tristan ignores him, reaching out to put his hand on Ariel's arm, magic coiling around them both in a brief, disorienting surge of power and then they're not in Ariel's room anymore, but Tristan's. It doesn't look very lived in, aside from the knocked over papers and spilled ink, it's cold and impersonally maintained. Tristan may have been sleeping here for the last little while but it's more like a room for guests than a place he lives.]

I'll call to have a bath drawn.

[upmoving]

Ah--

[Nope. Nononono he's not having any of it. The moment he's reoriented himself he tries to bolt for the door, panic written all over his face. He can't handle it, remembering what he does. He knows Tristan's capable of horrible things himself if he really wants to be, and he knows, more than that, that even though Tristan probably doesn't want to do anything harmful, he still isn't listening to what Ariel wants at all, and that none of that matters here because Tristan is God Emperor and he has the right to do anything he pleases, even to his own brother.]

[downvoted]

[The magic that pushes Ariel back into the chair is so effortless and unthought of it's probably not helping the terror at all. Tris isn't even looking at him, walking to the door and calling for servants, directing them to clean Ariel's room, fetch a spare night robe, draw a hot bath in the adjoining bathroom, all of it while casually holding his brother prisoner on the couch. And then he closes the door.]

You really need to calm down.

[As if he's being perfectly reasonable and Ariel is overreacting.]

[upmoving]

Let me go.

[It's breathless, he's so terrified he can hardly think straight. But he struggles anyway, even though he knows he won't be able to escape, just because he's that desperate to be anywhere but near Tristan right now.]

Let me go! I don't care if you lock me up somewhere, that's fine! I know I'm crazy, I'm bad, I understand, but I don't want to see you!

[downvoted]

You aren't crazy and you're not bad. You're not that person. You never were. That wasn't ever you. But I'm not letting you out of my sight right now.

[upmoving]

If I'm not any of those things then why can't I be left alone?! Even if I am, what can I do locked away? I'll be fine! Let Jupiter watch me! I just don't want anything to do with you!

[downvoted]

You're throwing a tantrum.

[upmoving]

I'll calm down when you're away from me!

[downvoted]

That's not happening.

[upmoving]

Did you not hear me before? I'm done being your perfect plaything. Nothing you do will change my mind. You can force me to stay here but I won't stop trying to get away from you.

[downvoted]

Ariel, you are not going anywhere. You are not a plaything, but you are not leaving my sight for tonight. I think that's a perfectly reasonable thing considering the situation. We don't have to talk, you can hate me all you want, whatever it is you want to do, except leave right now.

[upmoving]

[He's not getting out of this and he knows it. But he doesn't want to agree to it either, so he just goes quiet, refusing to even look at Tristan. He'll wait til he's asleep. That's fine, right? He can slip out after that and go find Jupiter and-- and cry for hours if he wants to, but for now he's stuck. So he'll just... be quietly distant, then. Tristan said he could hate him all he wanted.]

[downvoted]

You can bathe first but I'll stay with you. Don't sulk it's unbecoming.

[upmoving]

[He will sulk as much as he wants to thank you. And he remembers how to be nasty and willful now, so enjoy that.]

You'll stay on the other side of the door. If you look at me undressed I'll be nauseous.

[downvoted]

[Wow that hurts. Maybe he deserves it but it does hurt.]

Fine, but I'm sealing the room. You won't be sneaking away.

[upmoving]

[nononononononono--]

Do what you want. That's all you care for anyway.

[Funny how much easier it is to hide his real feelings now. It kind of gives him an uncomfortable rush.]

[downvoted]

It's not, and you know that.

[He releases the hold binding Ariel to the couch.]

Come on then, I'll see you into the room and you can leave it back here when you're done.

[He needs to seal the room magically but he's not leaving Ariel in here alone to do it.]

[upmoving]

It is. If you cared for me more than your own desires you wouldn't be forcing me to spend the night with someone that makes me feel disgusting. You have other options and you deny them, for your comfort and at my expense, like everything you've done with me in this lifetime.

[He doesn't mean it -- or he does, at least a little, but he would normally never be so cruel. Tonight though he's just barely seventeen and traumatized and has a monster newly living inside him, whispering in his ear, and he doesn't care to be kind when he's hurting. He just gets up and stalks past Tristan, obedient but stiff with anger and fear and still not looking directly at him.]