AU/PSL THINGS

[upmoving]

[cw for Ariel shit?? incest, violence, all of that]

Comments

[downvoted]

[Tris follows him carefully, frowning at the blood, there's worried pounding on the door now, and he makes a face, glancing at Ariel's scared huddling and then the door before turning towards the door.]

Stay right there.

[He walks through the guts barefoot like he doesn't see them, picks up a rib and stalks to the door. He opens it, shoos most of the servants away and demands his own guards.]

There's been an attempt on Prince Ariel's life. The assassin is dead and I want you tracking who hired him. Speak to his ghost if you have to, I don't care. Send a servant to stand by to clean up the mess when I've calmed the prince down.

[He drops the bloody fragment in one of his trusted guard's hands and shuts the door abruptly, turning to Ariel again.]

You're sleeping in my room tonight.

[upmoving]

I am not!

[He doesn't care if they're overheard. He isn't even thinking about it, actually, because his head is just too full of things that make no sense and too much sense all at once. It's hard to sound firm when he's still breathing hard, still stopping between words to whimper in pain, but he's trying to have conviction, because one thing he's sure of is that he has no intention of letting Tristan touch him any time soon.]

Never-- N-Never again. You won't-- M-My life-- E-Everything I am is a lie, isn't it? I was just m-made for what you like, wasn't I?! I-It's just too bad you left me with a will, then! I-I'm not going to-- I won't... let you use me anymore...

[At the same time, saying that, making that choice, feels like willingly pulling his heart out, and he can't help but cover his face and cry.]

[downvoted]

I don't know what you're talking about but you're obviously upset. It's natural when you've been through trauma. We'll get you cleaned up and you can tell me what happened.

[Ariel's remembering things, he's obviously remembering, but Tristan doesn't know how much--is it everything? It sounds like Ariel's aware of what Tristan's done, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it.]

[upmoving]

Don't lie to me!

[As the pain subsides he has to pause less often, and he gets less confused and more angry. He slams his fist into the side of the bookcase, slamming a wall down between himself and Tristan as easily as if he'd been casting the spell for years.]

I know the truth! I remember! We were different, and you--

[There-- There there's a sudden pause, a half-second where he stops breathing, and then he looks up with a glare full of a sort of rage Tristan hasn't seen in decades now, and a voice pitched just a little lower and so much more resonant.]

You erased me, Tristan.

1/2

[downvoted]

[For a moment his heart stops. This is the brother he actually grew up with, this is the Ariel he both loves and loathes and someone he did, indeed, erase years ago. Should have erased. That expression and his command of magic, neither should be his anymore. The Ariel of this time is a sweet kid, and Tris doesn't want to see him overwhelmed, consumed, hurt--he doesn't want him to become the brother Tris effectively killed. But this is a brother Tristan learned, on an instinctive level, to be terrified of. And for a moment, that old terror shows.]

[downvoted]

[And then he's angry. Because he remembers he beat Ariel, in the end Ariel was wrong. He wasn't weaker, he wasn't trash, he's changing the world so the Ariel he remade can live peacefully, he's changing it so Jupiter won't have to suffer and die, those things won't happen, he won't let history repeat itself, no matter how many worlds he has to destroy and remake to see it as it should be. If someone told him he was insane for thinking that way, he wouldn't care, he's a god, he's a god and he'll act like one.]

You don't exist any more. My brother doesn't make faces like that.

[upmoving]

I told you once I wouldn't be removed no matter how much you took me apart. Turns out I was right! You can try again if you want to. I'll hang on, but you know who won't? This brittle toy you've made for yourself. How many innocent children will you make and mold and fuck and kill to get rid of your real brother, I wonder?

[downvoted]

Shut up! You died over a decade ago, this is reality, and my brother is nothing like you were.

[Yes this is a conversation he's having with his brother, both of them, this is insanity.]

[upmoving]

No. This version of me is a weak little thing designed just for your fetishes. It's you who've become more like me. But I don't think "I" will ever be what you want again, in this lifetime. How sad for you. I wouldn't turn your back on me, Tristan. Like you told me in the end, I'm--

[There's another missed breath, and he's crying again, sliding down to the floor and curling into a ball, whimpering to himself under his breath.]

--a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a fake, everything is a lie--

[downvoted]

[The barrier keeps him from reaching out (he could destroy it if he wanted, but that would just freak Ariel out more) and they're both here in this room filled with gore and it's just. No good. Tris is freaked out and Ariel is losing his mind and neither of them are sane. He crouches down outside the barrier, places his fingertips on it, quiet a moment.]

You're not. You're not a monster and you're not a fake. This world exists because of you. There was another world, one where you weren't right, where you were a monster, but that isn't you. That isn't this world. And this is reality. Not anything else. This right now is real. And you're my precious little brother, you aren't a monster.

I know what monsters are.

[upmoving]

It's not because of me. It's for you. No matter what you say I know that.

[He's not letting go of it. Everything Tristan says seems flat and false in the face of knowing that his whole life has been tailored, that he's been kept naive and unaware for Tristan's benefit. He doesn't care if it was an attempt to prevent this very thing from happening or anything else. There are parts of it that couldn't have had anything to do with safety, only with keeping him near Tristan and keeping him from disallowing anything Tristan wanted from him. It was wrong. He was used, no matter how Tristan spins it, and it feels like a knife in the gut.]

I could be sick.

[downvoted]

Ariel. If you don't come with me out of this filth I will make you move. We can talk after we clean up.

[upmoving]

If you touch me I will set you on fire.

[downvoted]

Don't be a child Ariel.

[He dispels the barrier with distressing ease, as if Ariel's magic were indeed as simple as a child's.]

[upmoving]

[Well that's terrifying. Ariel presses himself further into the corner, staring at Tristan with obvious fear -- he could actually try to hurt him, but he doesn't really have the guts. He loves his brother. He's just angry at him, and afraid of him, and hurt by him -- and maybe that in itself would be enough to make him lash out, but he's even more afraid of listening to the other voice in his head.]

No-- Don't touch me, go away, I don't want to see you--

[downvoted]

[Tristan ignores him, reaching out to put his hand on Ariel's arm, magic coiling around them both in a brief, disorienting surge of power and then they're not in Ariel's room anymore, but Tristan's. It doesn't look very lived in, aside from the knocked over papers and spilled ink, it's cold and impersonally maintained. Tristan may have been sleeping here for the last little while but it's more like a room for guests than a place he lives.]

I'll call to have a bath drawn.

[upmoving]

Ah--

[Nope. Nononono he's not having any of it. The moment he's reoriented himself he tries to bolt for the door, panic written all over his face. He can't handle it, remembering what he does. He knows Tristan's capable of horrible things himself if he really wants to be, and he knows, more than that, that even though Tristan probably doesn't want to do anything harmful, he still isn't listening to what Ariel wants at all, and that none of that matters here because Tristan is God Emperor and he has the right to do anything he pleases, even to his own brother.]

[downvoted]

[The magic that pushes Ariel back into the chair is so effortless and unthought of it's probably not helping the terror at all. Tris isn't even looking at him, walking to the door and calling for servants, directing them to clean Ariel's room, fetch a spare night robe, draw a hot bath in the adjoining bathroom, all of it while casually holding his brother prisoner on the couch. And then he closes the door.]

You really need to calm down.

[As if he's being perfectly reasonable and Ariel is overreacting.]

[upmoving]

Let me go.

[It's breathless, he's so terrified he can hardly think straight. But he struggles anyway, even though he knows he won't be able to escape, just because he's that desperate to be anywhere but near Tristan right now.]

Let me go! I don't care if you lock me up somewhere, that's fine! I know I'm crazy, I'm bad, I understand, but I don't want to see you!

[downvoted]

You aren't crazy and you're not bad. You're not that person. You never were. That wasn't ever you. But I'm not letting you out of my sight right now.

[upmoving]

If I'm not any of those things then why can't I be left alone?! Even if I am, what can I do locked away? I'll be fine! Let Jupiter watch me! I just don't want anything to do with you!

[downvoted]

You're throwing a tantrum.

[upmoving]

I'll calm down when you're away from me!

[downvoted]

That's not happening.

[upmoving]

Did you not hear me before? I'm done being your perfect plaything. Nothing you do will change my mind. You can force me to stay here but I won't stop trying to get away from you.